A Little Love For Life

Only if you love life truly, will life truly love you back. If you are scared and hold back; life will hold back from you too.

It turned out that this was going to be my toughest new year's resolution to keep. 

How wonderful I thought it would be to just love life with a mad, passionate frenzy; the kind they talk about in stories. No expectations, no fears.. just pure, limitless, kind love. 

Alas, we are not trained to love; we are trained to compete, to live in fear of losing all that we scramble around to attain. Countless desires, countless fears.. endless yearnings, endless pain. 

They always make it look so simple in the stories, to break free of a tiresome life and to do deeds of great courage like travelling the world, turning your back on patriarchal society, breaking all the senseless rules, chasing impossible dreams.. and then we crash back to reality. Are we truly doomed to a life of endless insecurity.

I guess like in all great love stories, true love for life requires great courage. To open yourself up to life, make yourself vulnerable. Accept all that comes in and passes through.. the good and the bad, the pain and the joy.. all of it. To live every moment, to be truly alive.

 For what purpose you may ask, when did love ever have a purpose; we love for love's sake. But I believe and do so truly that in the end all this love will be worth it, if not for anything else but for a life well lived.

Can You Tell Black From White?

        I miss the days when I could tell black from white and life came in these many shades, when I could differentiate lies from the truth & right from the wrong. Now life & people seem to come in so many shades you can hardly tell what color it is, like the swirling colors of oil spilled on water it all seems different when seen in a different light. The only litmus test left is the what you feel in your heart and that gets tougher to read day by day.

     They say in the stories, you must listen to your heart to win the game of life. But all I see around me is intelligent, educated people listening to their fears and insecurity. They want to bribe fate into letting them win this game only no one is sure anymore what victory is or what's the prize.

     Life now always seems to come with a catch. It's mostly kind to me giving me what I want only to show me loopholes I never thought of. Then it asks me again and again, "Is it worth it? Really? Are you sure?"
The thing is I am not and never will be; all I know is that I rather fail at things I really love, knowing that I gave it my 100% but it was never meant to be than succeed at things I don't & make my life a living hell no amount of money will be able to buy me out of.

I will try and live the life I truly believe in and hopefully be able to tell you how it turned out. I can try and insure you from the risks then but in life playing safe can sometimes be the riskiest.